Pms Distress!
by einstinette
Summary: For a long time I have wondered what Bella would do if she got her period around Edward. Here is what I think would happen. This is a series of one-shots of Bella getting her period with a bunch of different characters from the Twilight series
1. Edward

Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer so I do not own Twilight even though I wish I did.

A/n: I hope you like this story.

Chapter 1

Edward

Bella's Pov

Ugh I said as I opened my eyes I felt horrible. I got up to go take a nice hot shower. Before that I decided to make up my bed. That was when I saw it. 'It' was a huge red stain on my white sheet. No wonder I felt horrible. I had my period.

Oh no, I had my period. Edward was going to be back soon. I quickly grabbed the soiled sheets and threw them in the washer. How unlucky was I to have a vampire boyfriend when I'm hormonal and bleeding.

Okay I seriously need to get a grip. This happens every month.

Knock. Knock. Crap that must be Edward. I raced down the steps tripping several times in the process.

"Hello love." he said in that silky voice. That's when I realized I'd have to send him away. I couldn't make this harder for him.

"Hi Edward" I replied weakly afraid that I would hurt him.

"So what so you want to do today?" he asked with that crooked smile of his.

"I'm staying here today, Edward." I told him emphasizing the I'm.

"That's fine. I'm sure we can find something to do around here," he said.

"No you don't get it I'm staying here. Me. Bella. Is staying here. You are leaving," I told him. I felt a sharp stab of pain, as he heard what I said and his face turned hard with pain.

"Why?" he asked trying to conceal the pain in his voice.

"Gosh, Edward sometimes a girl just needs to be alone." I told him "Go away!"

" If that's what you want," he said as he took off running. Running away from the pain. I knew I would regret this but I couldn't let him suffer. And I couldn't tell him I had my period either. Oh well only five days to go.

Edward's pov

I ran through the forest and the trees whipped by me. I can't wait to get to my Angel Bella's house. She is always so glad to see me.

I knocked on the door just to be polite. I am the perfect gentleman. I heard Bella trip down the stairs. I chuckled under my breath. Then my angel opened the door.

"Hello love," I said slightly dazzled.

"Hi Edward," she replied weakly. Hmm, I wonder if she is getting sick.

"So what do you want to do today?" I said giving her, her favorite crooked smile to cheer her up.

"I'm staying here today, Edward" she said. I was a bit surprised that she said "I'm". She usually said "we". I just looked it over as a slip of the tongue.

"That's fine I'm sure we can find something to do around here," I admitted.

"No you don't get it I'm staying here. Me. Bella. Is staying here. You are leaving," my angel said. I felt a sharp stab of pain. She didn't want me here. I had to hide the pain before she saw what I was feeling and did something she didn't want to.

I quickly smoothed out my features and said' "Why?"

"Gosh, Edward sometimes a girl just needs to be alone." She yelled at me. "Go away!"

" If that's what you want," I said as I turned and ran away. That hurt more than anything else I had ever felt in my century on this Earth.

By the time I stopped running I was in Canada. I decided to turn back and do what I should have at first. Talk to Alice. Ten minutes later I was back in Forks.

Alice was sitting in her room on Jasper's lap. Ewww.

"Uhh Alice, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked.

"Of course, Edward." my hyper pixie sister said as she hopped off of Jasper's lap. "What did you want to know?"

"Well Bella was acting really strange today and I wanted to know why." I mumbled. Jasper chuckled.

"Why do you know something I don't know, Jazz?" I asked him.

"Trust me Edward, you probably don't want to know. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about Alice doing that" he shuddered.

"I want to know everything about Bella." I told Jasper. "Alice, would you please explain what you don't do, before I murder Jasper."

"I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet" Alice giggled.

"You know Edward is kind of slow," Jasper joked.

"Can you guys please just tell me what is going on?" I screamed a little too loud. That got the rest of the family up the stairs in the room with us.

"What's wrong Edward?" Esme asked me.

"Yeah Eddy I could hear you a mile away." Emmett joked.

"First of all don't call me Eddy, my name is Edward." I said letting the words sink into Emmett's head. " And I'm in here to find out what is wrong with Bella."

"As I was saying. The reason Bella made you leave is she got her period and didn't want you to know." Alice said.

"That's all?" I asked.

"Yeah" Alice said.

"Oh poor dear," Esme murmured.

"Ha Edward it doesn't look like you'll be going there for about five days," Emmett grinned.

"Actually I'm going there now." I told them.

"You're not embarrassed?"


	2. Jacob

_A/n: Thanks for the review. If you have any ideas on how to make this story better please let me know._

Chapter 2

Jacob

Bella's pov:

Where am I? I looked around at the familiar furniture and felt a warm almost sweltering embrace. Then I remembered. I was at Jacob's house. I disentangled myself from his embrace, trying not to wake him up.

He didn't wake up. He just snored and then rolled over so his back was facing me. I stood up and stretched. As I did something caught my eye.

That something was a huge red stain that stood out lividly on Jake's beige couch cushion. Oh no. This couldn't be happening. I just left a **huge** period stain on my best friends couch.

Deep breaths Bella, deep breaths. First, I need to get some clean pants. I walked into Jacob's room grateful that Billy had went fishing with Charlie today. I dug in his drawers until I found a comfy pair of black sweats that must have fit Jake when he was ten.

Next I needed to clean off that spot on the couch. I went into the Black's bathroom and looked at their cleaning supplies. I grabbed a bucket and filled it with hot water. Then I added detergent and cleaning fluids. I quickly grabbed a few rags and headed back out to the couch.

Thankfully Jake was still asleep. I got on my knees and began to scrub the cushion quietly. At first the stain did not seem to be coming out. Eventually I began to notice that the stain was a bit lighter than it was at first. This made me scrub with more vigor. 10 minutes later the stain was almost gone but un fortunately it was still very noticeable.

Third I needed some tampons. Crap, I'm sure there are none in this house. I went into the bathroom and looked in every nook and cranny. As I had suspected there were none. I would have to get to town to buy some. Uh-oh. How was I going to do that? I guess I'll just have to figure it out.

Crap, I didn't have time for this. Jake turned over in his sleep and needless to say I panicked. I flipped the cushion over and sat on it just in the nick of time. Jake turned over and yawned widely. Then he opened his eyes.

"Hey Bells," he said.

"Hi Jake," I said nervously.

"Niiiice," he said. I looked down startled expecting to see a stain.

"What?" I asked nonchalantly as if I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You're wearing my old sweats," he replied as I sighed a sigh of relief

"Oh yeah my jeans weren't that comfy. So, I borrowed these. Hope you don't mind," I smiled.

"Of course I don't. Those don't' fit me anymore. I wore them when I was like ten," He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

"We can't all be super giants, Jake"

"And we can't all be tiny, Bella" he replied.

I turned away from him. He picked me up and turned me back towards him. I hope I don't bleed on him.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asked.

"Uhhhh how about we go in to town?" I asked thinking of the store where I could pick up some tampons.

"Sounds great to me," Jake said.

He went into his room to throw on a pair of pants. He came out ten seconds later in a tight pair of cut off jeans. Of course he had no shirt on.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said.

"Are you finished dressing?" I asked hinting at him to put a shirt on.

"Yeah," He said not getting where I was going with this.

"Do you ever wear a shirt?" I asked.

"Oh that's what you meant? No, I mean if you got it flaunt it" he chuckled.

"Let's go," I mumbled.

On the ride to town in my truck all I could think of was how was I going to get the tampons. There had to be a way I thought as I looked out of the window.

"Bells, you sure are quiet today. Is something wrong?" he asked concern clouding his face. What was I supposed to say? I'm bleeding and need tampons? I don't think so.

"Nothings wrong. Can't I be quiet when I want to without getting the third degree?" I said harsher than I had meant to. Damned hormones.

"Sure, sure Bells,"

We continued on in silence until we rounded the corner and could see the small shops and houses of La Push. I really needed to get to that small shop and go shopping but how could I ditch Jake?

"Where do you want to go?" Jake asked breaking in on my thoughts.

"How about the shop?" I asked him.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because I need some ingredients. I thought I would make a special dinner tonight when Billy and Charlie get back," I lied quickly.

"Oh okay," he said buying the bait. Now I just needed to ditch him for a few minutes.

We drove up and I parked in the empty lot of the store. As I walked in I noticed two things with dismay. One, all the non-food items were behind the counter and you had to ask for them. And two, the only person working in the store was none other than Quil. One of Jacob's best friends, one of Jacob's male best friends who would probably tell him what I had bought. Ugh, great.

"Is there another store in town?" I asked Jake quietly enough so Quil wouldn't hear.

"No this is it. Why is there something you think they won't have?"

"No, I'm sure they have it." I answered back.

"Hi Jake, Hi Bella" Quil shouted over at us.

"Hey Quil," Jake and I said in unison.

"So what can I do you for?" He asked

"We just need some ingredients," I told him.

He nodded as I scurried about trying to find some ingredients. Jake followed close to me like an obedient puppy to his master. He asked me questions about the herbs in spices as I threw them into the cart.

At last I was finished shopping and by this point I was sure I had another stain in my pants. Maybe I was overreacting I mean it had only been 20 minutes since I fond out I had my period. It seemed like a lot longer. I rolled my cart up to the counter trying to figure out how to ask for the damn tampons.

In the end I chickened out and just bought my items.

"That'll be $24.38," Quil told me with his usual grin.

"Thanks" I said.

"No problem," he replied.

"Bells are you _**sure**_ there is nothing else you need?" he asked me.

"No of course not, Jake" I replied walking out.

"Well I'll be another minute, then I'll get you back to my house." He said

"Okay," I agreed.

Jacob's pov

I woke up to see Bella sitting on the couch in a pair of sweat pants I had worn when I was ten.

"Hey Bells," I said.

"Hi Jake," she said. Her voice was like an angels when she called my name.

"Niiiice" I commented on the sweat pants. She looked down shocked as if expecting to see something terrible.

"What?" she asked curiously.

"You're wearing my old sweats," I told her to calm her down. I heard her sigh a sigh of relief. I wonder what she thought I was about to say.

"Oh yeah my jeans weren't that comfy. So, I borrowed these. Hope you don't mind," she smiled a smile that made me loose my train of thought for a moment.

"Of course I don't. Those don't' fit me anymore. I wore them when I was like ten," I joked teasing her for her small size.

"We can't all be super giants, Jake" she joked.

"And we can't all be tiny, Bella" I countered.

She turned away from me. I wasn't going to take that. So, I picked her up and sat her on my lap facing me.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked her to get the frown off of her beautiful lips.

"Uhhhh how about we go in to town?" she asked

"Sounds great to me," I said with my trademark grin.

I went into my room to throw on a pair of pants.. On top of my dresser was a neatly pair of folded jeans. I picked them up and shook them out. Those were so not mine. These were girls pants, they must be Bella's. I turned them around to look at the back. There was a huge red blood stain covering the butt of her jeans.

Oh, no wonder she was acting strange. She just got her period. But why didn't she tell me? Oh yeah, I'm a guy and she probably thought I would be embarrassed Poor thing. Well I couldn't bring it up, I didn't want to embarrass her anymore than she already was.

Of course I came out without a shirt on. I mean when you're this ripped you just want to show it.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked me.

"Yeah" I said.

"Are you finished dressing?" she asked. I must admit I was confused.

"Yeah," I said.

"Do you ever wear a shirt?" She asked. Oh, that's what she meant.

"Oh that's what you meant? No, I mean if you got it flaunt it" I teased. But I was right. I did have it.

"Let's go," she mumbled.

On the ride to town in Bella's all I could think of was how beautiful she was.

"Bells, you sure are quiet today. Is something wrong?" I asked trying to get her to admit she was on her period.

"Nothings wrong. Can't I be quiet when I want to without getting the third degree?" she snapped. Wait my Bella snapped. It must have been hormones, she would never have done that otherwise. Would she?

"Sure, sure Bells," I said comfortingly.

We continued on in silence until we rounded the corner and could see the small shops and houses of La Push. Bella look at me nervously. What was she planning? It probably involved ditching me so she could get feminine products.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked intruding on her thoughts.

"How about the shop?" she asked.

"Why?" I probed trying to get her to tell me the truth.

"Because I need some ingredients. I thought I would make a special dinner tonight when Billy and Charlie get back," she was lying. Lying very badly.

"Oh okay," I said pretending to believe what she said. I'm a much better liar than she is.

We drove up and Bella parked in the empty lot. I saw Bella notice where the tampons were. Then she saw Quil and nearly fainted from shock and embarrassment. My poor Bella probably thought Quil would laugh, or make jokes, or even worse tell someone.

"Is there another store in town?" she asked me too quietly for Quil to hear.

"No this is it. Why is there something you think they won't have?" I asked her just to get to her.

"No, I'm sure they have it." she answered back. I'm sure they have it too. In fact I know they do.

"Hi Jake, Hi Bella" Quil shouted over at us.

"Hey Quil," Bella and I said in unison.

"So what can I do you for?" He asked with a smile.

"We just need some ingredients," she told him.

He nodded as Bella scurried around trying to find some ingredients. I followed close behind her like I was a puppy. I didn't want her to ditch me, so I asked her about the herbs and spices she threw into our cart.

At last she was finished shopping. She still looked super nervous glancing down every few seconds, and blushing for no apparent reason. She looked like she was deliberating on saying something, but being true to her character she chickened out and bought all that stuff in her cart.

"That'll be $24.38," Quil told her with his grin already in place.

"Thanks" she mumbled.

"No problem," he replied.

"Bells are you _**sure**_ there is nothing else you need?" I asked her, hoping that she would own up.

"No of course not, Jake" she replied walking out of the door. What was I about to say. I kind of lost my train of thought for a minute. Oh yeah.

"Well I'll be another minute, then I'll get you back to my house." I said

"Okay," She agreed turning back to look at me one more time before exiting.

I watched her walk to her truck and get in the drivers side door. Damn, I lost my train of thought again.

"Quil, I need some tampons," I told him expecting a ribbing. And, man I got one.

"Awww, that time of the month Jakey" he teased. "Are you bloated? Poor baby."

"Nice one Quil," I said sarcastically. Of course, at this point Embry chose to show up.

"What's going on guys?" Embry asked.

"Jake just came in for some tampons," Quil chortled. Embry burst out laughing too.

"Guys, cut it out" I said blushing from embarrassment. Oh, well it was worth it to make Bella happy. "You know it's not for me."

"Oh yeah then who's it for?" Embry asked.

"Bella," I answered truthfully knowing they would find out anyway.

"Oooh, that's why she was acting all embarrassed and blushing," Quil said smacking himself on the forehead.

"How did you find out," Embry wanted to know.

"I found her jeans in my room." I answered truthfully.

"I bet you kept them and framed them, didn't you Jake?" Quil teased.

I rolled my eyes as he put the tampons in a plastic bag. "Paper," I automatically corrected.

"Sorry," he chuckled making me think he had done it on purpose.

"Oh and I'll also need a pair of size 7 jeans." I told him

"Awww, man you checked the size too. Now I really believe they may be on your wall." He put the jeans in the bag too. I paid him the money and left as Quil and Embry rolled on the floor laughing at my expense.

I got in the passenger side of the truck and held the bag out to Bella.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Something you forgot to get on your way out," was all I told her.

She opened the bag and I saw a look of surprise and relief flash across her face. She pulled out the box of tampons and then the jeans. She simply said "How?"

"Well I found your...... pants in my room," I stammered not wanting to make her upset.

"I knew there was something I was supposed to do." she said and then blushed.

"I knew you were embarrassed and wouldn't say any thing about your period... so when you didn't ask for tampons I did it for you. I also thought you might like some jeans." I finished lamely.

"But doesn't it bother you?" she asked

"Not really. I mean if you remember I have two big sisters. I know about periods. Don't be embarrassed."

"I bet Quil and Embry gave it to you," My angle laughed and her whole face brightened.

"More than you'll ever know," I said as Bella pulled out on the way to my house.

_A/n:I hope you guys liked it. Review with who you want to be with Bella next time._


	3. Jasper

_A/n Here's chapter 3._

Chapter 3

Jasper

Jasper's pov:

Something was wrong today. I don't know how exactly but it was.

Alice and the others needed to hunt very badly. In fact my little pixie's eyes were blacker than coal, but that didn't mean I wanted her to go.

"Jasper," she had snapped.( She's always testy when she's thirsty.) " I need to hunt now.

"Of course," I mumbled.

"Don't worry I'll be back soon and every thing will be okay. Okay?" my pixie told me.

"Okay," I submitted defeated. She stood on her toes and kissed me hard and passionately.

I knew I should feel suspicious. My little wife was feeling very excited. Then again she's always excited.

"Bye Jazzy, Bella will be here in a few minutes and then we'll leave," she assured me.

Since I was the only one who wasn't thirsty I got to babysit Bella today. I loved Bella and was looking forward to seeing her, but she couldn't make up for my little Alice. Alice shot a withering look in my direction.

"Please Jasper we'll be back soon. Until then just have fun with Bella," she sighed.

"Aww poor Jazzy's whipped, can't even go a few hours without his Ali-wally. Or as you sometimes refer to her your sexy little pixie." Emmett teased.

"Emmett come here now," Rose shouted. He got up and ran up the stairs like a dog with his tail between his legs. I don't see how he could be so dumb. We all knew what was coming and Rose didn't disappoint. As soon as Emmett got to her, she slapped him in the head, and he just took it.

"Hah," I said "Who's whipped now?"

"You both are," Edward chuckled. Oh no way, Edward was not calling us whipped. Edward was the worst even though he had just found his mate.

"Edward, please does this sound familiar? 'Yes Bella. Of course, love. You're the one who's whipped dear brother." I told him.

"Seriously, and you never get to whip it like Jasper and I do." Emmett said. Edward shuddered at the thought, probably remembering something he had heard in the past.

"Ew Emmett crank down the lust before I go find Alice and cause you to leave late. If you know what I mean." I wandered off suggestively.

"Oh I know what you mean, the question is does Eddie know what you mean?" he teased.

Edward shuddered. Luckily for him, the doorbell rang before Emmett could start with the explanations. Of course they would have the whole car ride together.

Standing in the doorway was Bella. She was the only human I've ever really gotten to know since my change. Her and Edward caught a "private moment" in the doorway before Emmett shouted out "Get a room"

Bella broke away from Edward with a blush. She walked towards us without tripping, I must say that was a miracle. Edward growled at me. Served him right.

"Hey Emmett, Jasper" she said.

"Hello Bella," I said.

"Hey Bells," Emmett said running up to kiss her cheek.

They continued on in some meaningless conversation that I ignored for the most part. That's when Rose and my little angel came down the stairs. She dashed at me so fast I could hardly see her.

Then, she settled into my lap and kissed me gently on the cheek.

"Bye, Jazzy" she said seductively.

"Good-bye my little pixie." I said "I will see you soon"

Carlisle and Esme came down the stairs. Bella and I got up to hug everyone good-bye. Seconds later we were all alone. Now what to do with her? I guess we would just hang out.

"What do you want to do today, Bella?" I asked her.

"Why don't we just watch movies?" She asked. That was a great idea, actually. We had an enormous collection of movies, any type you could think of was in our movie gallery.

"Sure. What do you want to watch first" I asked.

"Anything, just put on your favorite." Awesome the rest of the family never let me watch my favorite movie.

We watched two or three movies before I started to notice a smell. What was it? It smelled very, very, familiar. Every time I thought I had it the idea seemed to dance just beyond my grasp. I finally decided to just ask Bella if she smelt it too.

"Bella do you smell something?" I asked. To my surprise she blused and her feelings turned from amused to humiliated.

"Umm maybe." She said. Did she really think she was fooling me?

"You're lying. Just please tell me," I begged hoping she wasn't hurt, because if she was Edward would kill me.

"About ten minutes ago I sort of got my period." she mumbled blushing profusely.

"And you didn't tell me?" I asked. Crap, this was really more than I ever wanted to know about Bella. And damn it Alice knew it, that's why she was feeling mischievous.

"I didn't think you wanted to know," she mumbled. She was right I didn't want to, but it was too late now.

"Don't you need to put on something to..." someone help me.

"Umm, yeah I do," she said almost as embarrassed as I was. Almost.

"Well, hurry back," I told her relieved.

"What do you mean hurry back?" she asked.

"Well that implies that you are leaving and will come back soon." I explained to her slowly.

"I can't go" she told me.

"Why not?" I asked hoping she wouldn't send me.

"Jasper if you haven't noticed my pants have a stain and I don't have anymore to change into." she told me. Okay to be honest, I knew she had me. All of her reasons were valid and I knew I would cave but, I really didn't want to do it.

"Fine," I mumbled after seeing she wasn't going to back down.

"Thanks Jasper. You are the best brother ever," she gushed standing up and hugging me. I see what she meant about that stain it was huge.

I hopped into Alice's yellow Porsche. Ugh people were going to think I was gay(A/n no offence to gay people) driving a yellow Porsche, and picking up some tampons. I pulled into Fork's small grocery store, thankful that I couldn't blush.

I walked in out of the pouring rain and got myself a basket. I went to the auto parts department first. There I picked up a bottle of oil and other car essentials. I walked into the aisles near and around the one with the tampons.

I loitered around until I finally worked up the courage to go in to the feminine hygiene aisle. Of course as soon as I was getting ready to go into the aisle two people I knew came around the corner holding hands and talking. Mike and Jessica.

"Mikey," I heard her purr into his ear. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Of course, Jess." I heard him say. Sucker. Everyone knows you should ask what the favor is before you agree to it.

"Will you go down the feminine aisle and pick me up a box of tampons?" she said quickly. "Thanks love you lots." Sucker, of course I shouldn't say anything. Bella suckered me too.

"Ugh," he groaned. Then he saw me watching him and walked into the aisle I was in. "Hi, Jasper"

"Hey Mike, what's up?" I greeted quietly feeling the embarrassment flow off of him in waves. We prattled on about stupid stuff until Jessica came over and asked was he done.

"Almost," he cried. Then we said our good-byes and went on our own ways.

I walked and stood in front of the feminine hygiene aisle. I was a 90 year old vampire, I could walk into an aisle and buy tampons.

I took an unneeded deep breath and walked into the aisle. A second later Mike came in too.

"Oh, hey Jasper, has Alice, you know?" he asked trying (and failing) to sound cool and calm.

"No these are for Bella" I said insulted that he thought my wife did that.

"Why isn't Edward buying them then?" he asked.

"He's camping and I'm the only one who's home now so... I had to do it." I complained.

"Well good luck," he said shuddering.

"You too, man." I said.

After that we didn't talk anymore as we shopped. Mike was done in a few minutes but, I stood in front of the shelf utterly confused. There were so many types. Did she want pads or tampons? Light, heavy or regular? I have no idea.

I went and found the first buggy I came to. Then I went to the aisle and put one box of each in the cart. Ugh, this was the most embarrassing thing I had ever done. Everywhere I went people stared at me puzzled.

Thanks to super speed I was at the front in no time. There are only two registers in this store and both were manned by people I went to school with who would love to tell that they had saw me buy feminine products.

At the empty register was Tyler Crowley and at the full register was Eric Yorkie. I took another cleansing breath, and plastered a smile on my face as I walked up to the counter.

"Hi Tyler," I said.

"Hey Jasper," he said. His eyes bucking out of his head as he looked at my purchases. His burning curiosity was really starting to bug me. "What's up with all this stuff?" he asked.

"Bella needed some and I didn't know what kind to get so...." I said deciding honesty was the best policy.

"Oh, yeah, sure" he said. I could tell he didn't believe me. Oh well. "That'll be $75.88" I handed him my Visa and hurriedly took my bags to the car.

I was home in less than five minutes. I knocked on the door and saw that Bella was curled on the couch crying.

Bella's pov:

I got bored waiting for Jasper to come back. So I putt on one of my favorite movies. Lassie. I could tell I was on my period, because even though it's sad I usually don't cry. But today I was sobbing quite loudly.

I was so wrapped in the movie I almost didn't notice Jasper come in. He had so many bags that if he was human he would be staggering under their weight. What all did he buy? He took one look at me crying and rushed right over. It was a funny sight. He couldn't decide wether to drop th bags or bring them over to me.

In the end he decided to bring the bags to me.

"What's wrong Bella?" he asked.

"Nothing, just hormones and Lassie," I replied

"Ohhhh" he said with understanding.

"What all did you buy?" I asked conversationally.

"Well, I didn't know what to get you so I bought you a box of each." he said. Crap that's right I don't think I ever told him what kind to get.

"Well um thanks." I said as I got up to put the tampons on. "Oh and for future reference, get the heavy duty tampons," I said. I saw him shiver as he thought of next time. I giggled to myself.

5 days later.

Jasper's pov:

Where the hell was my family? They were supposed to be back five days ago. I just have a feeling my wife is behind this. I love her but if she was behind this than she was dead.

Bella was an emotional wreck. She was all moody. One minute she was happy, then she was sad, then she was, hyper. It's to much for me to take. I don't see how Edward does it every month.

Just as I was thinking this Bella ran down the steps and shouted. "Yay! Jasper it's over."

It took me a moment to put her words together to mean anything. Then I got it. Bella' period was over. No more mood swings, or hormones. Yay. I literally jumped for joy. Then the door opened.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Alice opened the door and ran in to jump into my arms. She attacked my lips, but as much as I wanted her I pulled her away from me.

"You are an evil little pixie." I tell her my voice husky.

"What did I do to make you think that?" she asked playing innocent.

"You left me with a hormonal Bella, oh and I had to go buy her tampons," I said. Here she started laughing.

"You have to admit it was funny," she said in between her giggles. Okay she was probably right. I would have laughed if it was Edward or Emmett.

"Jazzy?" she said.

"Yes my angel," I asked wondering what she could want.

"I love you," she said kissing me again. When she was done I replied

"Despite all you have put me through I still love you," I said

"That's great. Remember that tomorrow when Mike and Tyler tell the whole school what you bought at the store." she teased as I groaned. Tomorrow would be pure torture.

_A/n: How did you guys like that? I don't think it turned out as well as my other chapters did. You tell me. Read and review._


	4. Jasper part 2

A/n: So a lot of people have been asking about what happens at school the next day with Jasper. Well here it is. Read and review. Tell me if you like it.

Chapter 4

Jasper part 2

Jasper's pov:

I must admit I am very worried about going to school today. I wonder what Alice saw. She refuses to tell me anything except it involves what I bought at the store.

I barely paid attention as I put on what Alice picked for me. All I could think about were the horrors that lay ahead of me today. What could that stupid Newton and moronic Crowley have planned for me?

When I got downstairs I must admit I had planned on skipping school today. Just as I decided that Alice grabbed me by the and said "Don't even think about it, Jazzy" Damn it, stupid phsycic wife.

"What did she do this time?"Edward asked as he entered through the door to change clothes before picking up Bella.

"She's making me go to school, knowing that Mike and Tyler are going to make fun of me," I complained. Edward chuckled.

"You know this is all your fault, Edward." I complained.

"Dear brother, how are you going to blame this on me?" he asked as if he didn't know.

"Bella is your mate, not mine. You left her here with me while she was having her.... 'Monthly problem' and I had to go and get her hygiene products. Since I had no idea what kind to get, I had to buy all of the kinds."

"Technically, that is your fault. Have you ever heard of a cell phone?" he teased. Damn, he was right, I could have called. He smirked as he read my thoughts.

"Okay how about you tell me what I want to know and we'll call it even?" I bargained.

"Sorry can't do that Jazz." he replied still smiling.

"And why not?" I asked even though I was pretty sure of the answer.

"Your wife commanded me not to," was his simple answer. Great, I was right.

"Well I should go pick up Bella," he said getting up to leave.

"Good-bye," I mumbled like this was my last day alive.

"Bye Jazz," he chuckled.

He ran out of the door and as I was about to follow in to the forest, my little pixie flitted down the stairs and grabbed my hands. There was a scowl on her face and I just wanted to kiss it and make it better.

"Now I know you weren't going to run out on me," she said with unmistakable anger in her voice.

"No of course not," I quickly lied.

"Whatever," she murmured. "Let's go,"

Ugh, it look like I'm not going to get out of this. I never really thought that I would. When you're dealing with Alice, it's always better to let her have her way.

Today we decided to ride in the jeep, probably so that I couldn't ditch out early. Emmett sat in the front seat, smirking back at me. I ignored him as we drove to the school. We were there in 5 minutes.

Oh man, I must admit I was nervous. The first thing I did was sweep the area looking for Mike or Tyler. I didn't see them. Uh-oh that doesn't seem like a good sign. I was edgy as I walked to my first class.

Emmett was boisterous as ever, not even worrying like a good brother. I decided to fix that. I sent him some panic waves.

"OMC! Oh my Carlisle! Jasper something's going to go wrong today." he said panicky. That was almost as funny as the time I sent lust at him and made him make ut with some guy, and Rose wouldn't touch him for a week. Ahh, good times.

The day passed by with more panic attacks from Emmett. I became less weary as the day passed. In fact when I entered the lunch room, I was completely at ease and that's when I felt it. In a high school there are a lot of things to feel usually lust, anger, jealousy, angst, etc. but this was some thing different the emotion of satisfaction and payback.

I looked in the direction of where these emotions were coming. Uh-oh. There were Mike, Tyler, and Eric. They all grinned at me and beckoned me over. I ignored them. I went to sit at my usual table with the rest of my family and Bella. I didn't even pretend to get food today, I was so worried.

Alice and Edward laughed as they felt my distress. I need to calm down, or else everyone in a two mile radius would be having a huge panic attack. Rose glared at me. She was still upset with me for the whole panicky Emmett thing. He really embarrassed her. Hah she deserved it.

"Jazz," Rose said with a smile. "Your friends want you,"

I turned around unsure of who to expect. Mike, Tyler, and Eric were beckoning me over again. I made a big show of rolling my eyes at them. Apparently they weren't taking no for an answer. I turned around and the next thing I knew there was a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around to see Mike Newton smirking down at me.

"Newton, got a problem?" I asked in my meanest voice.

"Not as big as you're about to have, Hale," he told me.

Tyler and Eric were standing behind him looking and feeling slightly afraid. I must admit if this wasn't about me this would be humorous.

"Do your worst," I said.

"Oh we will," Mike said.

"Jasper did you use all of your tampons?" Tyler said loud enough for everyone else to hear. This got everyones attention. Even the teachers looked over at me. Great, this was just great.

"Whatever happened to shoppers confidentiality?" I murmured where they couldn't hear.

"Yeah he used them all," Emmett guffawed. Now the people who pretended that they weren't listening stopped pretending. I was so ruining Emmett's love life after this.

"Oh we're being confidential we didn't tell anyone that you came in the store and bought about thirty boxes of tampons." They said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"They weren't for me," I said embarrassed.

"Oh, but who were they for?" he asked knowing he had me.

I pulled out the first name I could think of. "Alice," I said. Alice was staring daggers at me. Well looks like Emmett wasn't the only one who wasn't going to get any for a while.

"Alice you used thirty boxes?" Eric asked with a smile. Uh- oh he so shouldn't have asked Alice.

"No of course not Bella, Rose, Em, Jazz, and Eddie helped me." my malicious wife said. Usually that would be a turn on but when it was directed towards me it wasn't so cute.

"Well I can understand Bella and Rose but.... Em, Jazz and Eddie?" Mike asked amused. He rolled each of our nicknames around on his tongue. Ugh, his tongue something I didn't even think about.

"Yeah they used them too." Alice rambled on. It's a good thing vampires cant' blush because if they could we would all be the color Bella was right now. Mmm, everyone thought they were laughing now. Fine but it was payback time after school.

"Oh that would explain why they needed so much." Tyler laughed.

"Poor hormonal guys, or should I say girls," Mike laughed.

"I bet mind bigger than yours little buddy," Emmett called out as Mike blushed, while looking down at Emmett's pants. Ew.

"If there's even anything there," Edward threw in. I was surprised Edward said anything. Well I guess Mike was hitting below the belt. The kids in the cafeteria went wild with laughter. Of course, it didn't help that I was cranking up the hilarity of the situation.

"Aww, please let's leave Emmy alone,

"Hey Mike," I shouted as they turned.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Those tampons you bought. I know you used them. Did they feel good?" I asked just to get him riled up. I decided to hit him with some honesty to get the truth out of him.

"Yeah," he said "They felt like a dream" The whole school heard him and laughed.

I decided to skip the rest of my classes to torture Mike, Eric, and Tyler. I must say the fates must have wanted it. They had all their classes together after lunch. Emmett and Edward decided to come along and help me.

The first thing I did was send waves of lust at them. Man they were all over each other. Mike and Tyler then Tyler and Eric. It went on and on. The students were watching and snickering. Poor Mr. Varner thought it was him.

It took him all class period to see that three of his students were making out in the back of his class. They didn't stop even when he threatened them with detention. Then I had a bright idea. I sent out waves of attraction. They all looked up at Mr. Varner and ran to include him in their love fest.

At this point most of the students were falling out of their seats with laughter. "That's it detention, for three weeks." Mr. Varner shouted at his attackers. After that we went to our classes, to tell Rose and Alice about what had happened.

They started laughing so hard, that they got detentions too. The rest of school passed by quickly. My brothers and I ditched out of our last class early to finish our prank.

We met in the parking lot, and that's where we got the stuff out of Edward's Volvo. "The stuff" was three big screen plasma televisions with DVD players and of course cable hook ups.

We plugged up a tv at each of the doors of the school, and then we put in a certain DVD that we had made after lunch. (Emmett had a digital editing class that he went to to make these tapes.)

10 minutes later:

Mike's Pov:

School was over. Today had been a pretty good day. Me and my group had embarrassed Jasper and the other Cullen guys. Maybe Bella would realize she didn't need a wimp like Edward when she could have a real man like me.

As I walked down the hall to get to my car, with Eric and Tyler at my flanks, people kept laughing and pointing at us. I wonder why. Well there was that thing that happened after lunch today. But there's no way anyone would tell about that.

See, what happened was this uncontrollable urge to kiss Tyler came over me. I couldn't resist it so, yeah we started making out and then Eric wanted his turn. At the end of class Mr. Varner caught us and for some unexplainable reason I felt attracted to him. Weird.

But no, no on could know about that. As we neared the exit where my car was parked, I saw that there was a plasma screen parked in front of it. Everybody was laughing at whatever was on. Hmm, I wonder what they're watching.

As I got closer the laughing got louder. Everyone was pointing and laughing at us. What was so funny. And then I saw it. I was on the screen slobbing down Tyler, and then Eric, and then it looked like I was trying to seduce Mr. Varner. OME (Oh my Edward). This could not be happening.

Jessica Stanley walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Well that explains why you never asked me out," she said with a smile on her face. Everyone heard this and it just made them laugh harder.

Then I did something stupid. I took off running to the next available exit. Parked at that exit was another tv. I ran to the final exit, and of course there was another tv awaiting me. This one was different, on this one there was a picture of Jasper with the flashing words: Don't mess with the best!' at the bottom of the screen.

I wrenched the tv out of the way and ran all the way to my car.

Oh no not my beautiful suburban. Some evil fiend had painted it bright pink with the words I'm gay and proud on it. Two cars down Jasper was leaning against Emmet's big jeep laughing at me.

He walked over to me with his blond hair flapping in the wind.

""Don't mess with the best," he said as he turned and got in his car.

_A/N: I hope you guys like it. The next chapter will feature Bella. Okay? You know the drill review._

_Review's=Happy Camper. Happy Camper=I write faster. I write faster=You guys get your updates quicker, then you review because you're so happy! It's a cycle. Keep it going!_


	5. Emmett

Chapter 5

Emmett

Bella's pov:

I opened my eyes, and was a bit disoriented as I looked around. Where was I. As I looked around I saw familiar things like the stereo, the wall of cd's, and the large black wrought iron bed I was laying on.

I was in Edward's room. I stretched out my arm to greet my angel, but there was just an empty bed. On the pillow next to me where my angel's head would usually lay there was a note. And it said:

_Bella,_

_Sorry, Love. I really needed to hunt and so does everyone else in the family. Don't worry you won't be alone (who knows what trouble you'd get into alone.) _

_Emmett will be there to keep an eye on things, and don't worry he promised to be on his best behavior. Just tell me if he's not and I'll get Rose to take care of him. I should be back in a few days, five at the most._

_I love you. Always._

_Edward_

I stared at the note for a full minute before I heard a voice. "Aww he left you," came a loud booming voice from right behind me. "Ahh!" I screamed as I jumped a foot into the air. "Emmett!"

"Sorry little sis, I couldn't resist," Emmett managed to gasp out through his laughter.

"Sure, sure" I mumbled.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked me.

"Well first I need a human moment, and then we can decide our plans for the day. Okay?" I asked.

"Okay." Emmett replied.

I grabbed my bag of toiletries and walked into the bathroom. As I showered I noticed that the water that was swirling down the drain was red. Blood red. I must have still been sleepy because it took me am moment to realize that the blood in the water was my period.

Crap, why did I have to bleed when I was _alone _with _Emmett_? Okay I can do this. I'll just have to tell him. Even though I know he'll make fun of me.

After realizing I had my period I quickly threw on some black skinny jeans and a blue t-shirt with my black converses. I walked out of the bathroom and was surprised to see Emmett standing outside of the door grinning down at me.

"Hi Bells, how did everything go in there?" Emmett asked smiling like he knew something that I didn't.

"Um, fine?" I said but it came out as more of a question.

"I just got a call from Alice," Emmett said leaning against the wall right above my head.

"Oh yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah and she told me something about you," Emmett said quietly in my ear.

I looked at him quizzically? What could she have told him about me?

"Would you like to know what it is?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded, honestly curious about what Alice had told him.

"She told me....." he started out.

"That you have your period!" He shouted. It scared me so much that I know I jumped a foot into the air.

My heart was beating at dangerous speeds, and all Emmett did was stand there and laugh. Wait, did he say Alice told him I had my period. Damn, that little pixie.

I took a deep breath and then started to yell at Emmett. "Are you trying to kill me?" I screamed. "I don't think Edward will be happy to hear that you scared me. I can't wait for him to come home because I'm so telling." I told him with a smile.

"No Bella please don't." Emmett begged getting down on one knee giving me the puppy dog eyes that he and Alice do so well.

"I don't know Emmett you scared me pretty bad..." I trailed off knowing that I was going to forgive him.

"Please Bella, pretty please, Pretty please with a grizzly on top?" he continued to beg.

"Fine," I said giggling at the grizzly on top.

"Thanks Bella," he said gripping me in a bear hug.

"Can't breathe," I managed to gasp out. He dropped me on the ground and laughed.

"Ow," I mumbled rubbing my sore backside.

"Well," Emmett said after he had stopped laughing at my expense. "We had better get going,"

"Where are we going?" I asked getting up to follow him.

"We are going to get you some tampons," Emmett said with a grin.

In the midst of out joking I had forgotten all about my period, but now it all came flooding back. Literally. Then, I thought of Emmett accompanying me. He would surely embarrass me but I couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes. Damn him.

"I'm a big girl Em, I can get my own tampons," I told him gently yet sternly.

"But Bella pweaseeee?" Emmett asked.

"No," I huffed staying firm.

"Pweaseeee," he begged giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," I said. Em began jumping up and down and screaming Yay. He was such a child sometimes.

"But," I said holding up one finger. " There is one condition."

"Yes?" he asked carefully in case it was something that would get him in trouble.

"You have to be on your best behavior," I told him.

"Yes ma'am," he said saluting me like a soldier would his commanding officer.

"Promise," I commanded.

"I Promise," he said "Now lets go," he ordered dragging me out of the door and into the Volvo.

"Um, Emmett you do know you aren't supposed to drive the Volvo, right?" I asked.

"Well they took the Mercedes and the Porsche so that only leaves the Volvo," he answered.

"Um, no that leaves the BMW and the jeep too." I countered not wanting to mess up Edward's precious car.

"Well I don't want blood on my seats and you know Rose would kill you if there was anything on hers." He said. Just like I wanted to protect Edward's car he wanted to protect his and Rose's. Well I guess I could understand. "Besides, he is your boyfriend." Emmett reminded me.

"Ugh, whatever," I grunted.

Emmett drove fast but not nearly as fast as Edward. In fact compared to Edward this was a slow Sunday drive in the country. Note to self: complain to Edward about his driving when he gets back.

We drove on until we reached the one small convenience store in Forks. When we parked in the lot it was relatively full. Great just my luck. Emmett being the gentleman he is, came around and opened my door for me.

"Come on Bella, you're going too slow," Emmett told me as we walked into the store.

"Em, I am human, not a super strong super fast vampire." I scolded.

"I can change that," he mumbled.

"Besides I'm sure the tampons will still be there when we get there," I said louder than I meant to. A middle-aged woman with messy bleached blond hair stared at me and ogled Em. She might have been pretty in her glory days but now she had gained about thirty pounds and was wearing an old ugly pink track suit that was way too tight.

"Emmett, you're getting checked out," I whispered so only he could hear me.

Emmett turned to where I was looking and smiled. I decided to make this interesting.

"Em, I dare you to go over there and hit on her," I told him.

"You're so on." he replied with a smirk.

Emmett pov:

"Emmett you're getting checked out," Bella whispered. I followed her line of sight until I saw the lady she was talking about.

Believe me it took all of my gentlemanly power to call her a lady. She was a bleached blond with a whole bottle of makeup on. I mean she looked like a transvestite (A/n no offence) She was huge and looked like she could be my grandmother. Oh and a bright pink track suit was so not her type of clothes.

Oh man, I did not just describe her clothes in my head. I was hanging out with Rose and Alice way too much now a days. I need some guy time to man up, and I definitely wasn't going to get it picking out tampons with Bella. When Jazz and Eddie-Weddie get back we're going to go and wrestle.

"Em I dare you to go over there and hit on her," Bella said. Cool this was a challenge, a manly challenge, one I would definitely win.

"You're so on," I said confidently. How hard could it be to get her under my charms?

I walked up to the lady and stood in front of her with my arms up to show off the greatly muscled physique that was me.

"Hello, beautiful," I murmured into her ear.

"Hey handsome," she said looking like Christmas had just come early.

"How are you doing?" I asked seductively.

"Just fine now," she said moving around the cart to stand beside me.

"Oh, and did I make your day?" I asked internally gagging at what I was being forced to do. I was so getting Bella for this.

"Yeah you did, and you can make a lot more sugar," she said grabbing my butt. Ewww, someone old enough to be my grandmother was grabbing my butt.

"Mmm, firm mama likee," She purred. And I mean she literally purred like a cat. I could feel it coming form her belly. Then she started to feel me up. If she didn't stopo I was so calling rape.

"So baby, my place or yours?" She asked me.

"Well sorry to lead you on....?" I said realizing I didn't even know her name. Well it doesn't matter she's just my experimental gain. _(A/n: anybody who can tell me where that comes from gets a cookie.)_

"It's Jillian hot stuff." she said putting her hands on her large hips. Jillian, such an old name for such an old woman.

"Well, I'm" I began but she cut me off.

"No need for you to give me a name, I'll just call you big papa," She purred. I heard Bella laugh from where she was listening in the next aisle. I shivered. I wasn't really going to give her my name. No, I was going to tell her my name was Edward and then give her his cell number, maybe there's still hope.

"Well, Jillian, I'm sorry to lead you on but I have a girlfriend." I told her.

"Oh that's fine I have a husband and three kids," she said not caring about anything. I bet her youngest kid was older than me. Ugh. She began to work her hands up my body again.

I was seriously getting uncomfortable with this hag feeling me up. That's when I got an idea. Bella had better go along with this.

Bella was still standing where she could see us. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Stupid human.

"Hold that thought, I see someone I know" I said to Mertyle.

"Be quick, I'll be waiting handsome," She said with a grin, I shuddered.

I forced myself to walk to Bella at a human pace.

"Play along or else Edward gets it." I said so only she could hear me.

She nodded as I grabbed her hand and walked her over to where Mertyle was glaring at us. I walked Bella right up to her. Mertyle glanced down to the hand I had wrapped around Bella's waist.

"Mertyle, this is my girlfriend, Bella" I said gesturing to her. Bella's eyes widened in shock at the world girlfriend. No doubt she was thinking about what Edward would say. Ha, I wish she would get in trouble for this, but no Edward would forgive her for anything. Too bad Rose won't.

"Hello Jillian," Bella said with a fake smile. Jillian glared at her for half of a second.

"Hello Bella," Jillian managed to grind out from between her teeth.

"Well, Jillian don't you think she is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I asked trying to sound like a doting father.

"I've seen better," she mumbled.

"Yeah, I bet" I said sarcastically. Hey, if she had seen my Rose then she had definitely seen better. I mean Bella was beautiful in that human way but she was nothing compared to my Rose. Rose had it all, Legs, butt, and she knew how to please me.

As soon as she got back I was going to go knock down a house with her. Focus. I need to listen to what the hag is saying.

I snatched myself out of my Rose fantasy and tried to focus on the conversation

I guess Jillian decided to call our bluff. She walked up to me and started rubbing her hands on my nether regions (if you know what I mean). The whole time she was rubbing she stared pointedly at Bella. Bella looked angry. I jumped back away from the womans probing hands. This dare was getting to be too much even for the awesome me.

Bella walked up to the woman, looked her into the eyes and growled out. "Don't ever touch my Emmie Bear again" I must admit I was surprised to see that kind of anger from Bella. It was a regular occurrence with Rose but Bella was usually nice to everyone, even if they didn't deserve it. Especially if they didn't deserve it.

"That's my girl," I whooped.

"Are you sure about that?" Jillian asked.

"Why wouldn't he be sure about me?" she asked glaring at Jillian. She had better be careful about what she says to Bella or she might go missing.

"Well I've never really seen you two touch. Most young couples can't keep their hands off of each other." she clarified. Well, she was right. If Rose was here right now then we'd probably be going at it right now in the store room or the bathroom. Hell, we might even be going at it here in this aisle.

"Oh please, excuse me for not wanting to make out with my boyfriend in front of some old perv." Bella screeched like a banshee.

"I don't believe you do make out, you two probably just sit around and play tiddly winks to while away your time" she said with a grin. Wow, if I didn't step in now this was probably going to turn into a full blown cat fight. Over me. How lucky can one guy get.

"Oh, you'd be surprised at some of the things, Emmie and I do," Bella said, trailing off so technically it wouldn't be a lie. (Bella hates to lie. That's why she's so bad at it.) As long as she thought she was telling the truth she was fine. "Right Emmie?" she asked me.

"Right, Belly-bell-bells," I said making up a stupid nickname for her too. I mean that's the kind of stuff couples do. I call Rose my Rosie Posy, and she calls me her Big strong Teddy bear.

"I don't believe you but you know what they say...." she trailed off leaving us to fill in her blank.

"No" Bella said. "What do they say?" she asked looking testy. Gosh, it was easy to tell it was that time of the month. Poor Jillian didn't have a clue.

"They say that seeing is believing" she said with a flourish. Damn, she was a real drama queen, made my Rose seem like a second rate actress. Crap, I'm glad she didn't hear that.

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully.

"I mean I won't believe that you two are together until I see you kiss." she said with a smile, thinking that she had us.

I gulped looking at Bella. And Bella, well she looked even paler than I do. She looked like she had been punched in the stomach. I knew what she was thinking, I'm sure it was the same thing I was thinking.

Should we do it? How would Eddie and Rose feel? How long until they came back and killed us? How hurt would they be? And how could we make it up to them? Would they forgive us?

My resolve wavered with these thoughts. But surprisingly, Bella was the driving force. She looked firmly at me, her brown eyes alight with adrenaline _(A/N: Does this sounds like Emmett? To me it sound more like Edward.)_ She gave me a small nod that would have been imperceptible to a human.

So, she thought we should do this and risk our soul mates anger. This woman must have seriously made her mad. I mean she never like to hurt Edward. Well if she could do it then I know I can.

"Come here Belly-bell-bells," I said beckoning for her with my hand.

"Of course Emmie" she said stepping closer to me.

I took a step closer to her and looked her in the eye. I took a deep breath that I didn't need. Bella looked at me with a slight frown. We leaned in until our lips touched. We pulled back quickly to look at Jillian.

Jillian laughed. "Is that what you call kissing?" she asked. "Please I've kissed my grandmother more than that." she chuckled. Ewww, she kissed her grandma on the lips, way too much information. Why do I find that easy to believe? Way too much information.

"Oh please, that was for your benefit, old lady." Bella bragged. "Our kisses are usually so steamy that they'll fog a mirror." Why didn't Bella stop while we were ahead? Was she trying to get our mates to kill us?

"Well, then let me see it. I haven't got all day." she said sounding irritated.

"Fine" Bella said.

I took another deep breath as I grabbed Bella around the waist. I tried to imagine Bella as Rose after five days of not seeing her. I looked down at Bella, she must be thinking about Edward. I leaned in closer pulling Bella the rest of the way into me. I put my lips on hers and together our lips moved in a complex dance that only we knew the steps to.

Damn, she was a good kisser. And poor Eddie wouldn't give any to her. She didn't attack like Rose but she kissed in her own sweet way. Her lips were soft and tasted like berry.

After about five more seconds I pulled her away panting. We both turned to look at Jillian who was looking very deflated.

"Well I guess you, two are together," she moped turning to walk away. "But Emmie, if she ever breaks your heart call me." she said tossing a piece of paper at me. I caught it.

"Oh, he'll never call. Don't you worry about that." Bella said.

Bella grabbed my hand and tried to drag me away. It took me a minute to realize what she was trying to do. When I finally got it I turned around and walked away.

As soon as we rounded the corner Bella burst out laughing. I looked at her like she was crazy. She must have saw the question in my eyes because she answered me.

"You were just felt up, attacked, forced to kiss your sister, and given a note by a perv." She said. "Don't you find that the least bit funny?" she asked through her giggles.

When she put it that way I couldn't help but laugh. I leaned against a nearby shelf and felt it shake under my weight, but I couldn't stop laughing at Jillian.

After I had calmed down I asked Bella "You know what's funny?" I asked.

"No what?" she wanted to know.

"Roses, middle name is Lillian." I told her.

We started to laugh again. A few minutes later after we have settled down a little more, I decided to ask Bella something.

"Hey, do you remember what we came here for in the first place?" I asked because I sure didn't.

"Emmett you are the dumbest most forgetful vampire I have ever met." Bella said with a grin to show that she was just joking. "Remember, we have to pick up some stuff for me?" she said emphasizing the word stuff.

Oh, and then it clicked. Bella was on her period and we had come here to get her some tampons. No wonder my family thought I was dumb. I mean I can't believe that I had forgotten that.

"Well we'd better go get those tampons," I said grinning as I watched Bella blush. I was going to miss that about her once she became a vampire.

"Fine," she mumbled.

"Well what aisle are they in?" I asked her.

"Ummm, I don't exactly know," She said blushing again. Wait, how could she not know?

"Wait how do you not know? Don't you buy those things every month?" I asked her a little too loudly.

"Yes, but Edward usually comes to get them for me or I get them in La Push with Jacob." She admitted. Wow, that was pretty sad.

"Wow, can you say whipped?" I said turning to Bella

"Edward is not whipped." Bella shouted into my face. I don't see why she was so mad all of us Cullen boys were whipped. Some (Edward) more than others.

"Okay, okay, Edward's not whipped can you please stop biting my head off?" I asked.

"Sorry, it's the hormones." she said shyly.

"Whatever," I mumbled. "Look why don't we just ask a sales associate." She nodded in agreement.

Bella angrily strode off in front of me and that's when I noticed a bright red flash around her butt. (No I wasn't looking at her butt but it was impossible to miss even without my super vampire sight.)

I speed walked until I was right behind her. I kept behind her trying to cover up the stain.

"Emmett what the hell are you doing?" She screeched. I can understand why though. I mean I was practically on her butt with my crotch. Not something that would be comfortable to my brothers girlfriend. Of course she should be happy, I mean I'm much hotter than Edward.

"Well, Bella there's a big spot on your ass," I said cutting through the bull. "I guess we talked to Jillian too long."

"Crap," she said more to herself than to me. She held me close to her butt. To anyone who saw us they would think that I was with Bella. Ugh.

"Come on lets go find a sales associate," I told her. She nodded and lead the way.

I looked around for one of those dorks in the bright red vests. I spotted one in the music aisle, and so I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. Bella was still standing in front of me. Way too close for either of our comfort.

How bad can my luck be? The person I tapped was none other than Mike Newton. Great he was so going to tease me on Monday.

"Hello, how may I help you?" he said as he turned around. When he saw me his eyes widened. He probably thought I was going to beat him up. Tempting but not today. Still, I could try to piss him off.

"Hey Mikey, I need some help finding some stuff." I said in my usual cheery manner.

"Hey Mike" Bella said jabbing me in the shoulder. If she had a bruise Edward would kill me.

"What kind of stuff?" he asked trying to treat me nicely. He probably thought that I would tell the manager if he didn't. Well to be honest I probably would.

"Stuff for girls," I said trying to get him to figure it out. Bella giggled at Mike's stupidity.

"Stuff?" he asked. "You need to be more specific, Cullen," he said. Gosh, and they called me dumb. How hard was this to figure out.

"Tampons." I finally managed to say. Bella blushed redder if that's possible. I mean this idiot so wasn't going to get it.

"Ohhh, aisle, six" he said looking at me with a grin. "That time of the month for Rose, huh?" he asked. Hello, idiot Bell was standing right here.

"No, it's not for Rose," I told him.

"Oh yeah?" he asked skeptically. "Then who's it for?" I glanced over to where Bella was standing, and decided to get some revenge.

"Bella and Edward." I said as Bella blushed ten different shades of red. "Oh and where's the birth control?"

"Birth control?" he asked like he had never heard of it before. Well he probably hadn't. I mean it was pretty obvious the only action he was getting was from Bella's picture.

"Yeah, Bella and Edward, well you didn't hear it from me." I said so low that only he could hear it slipping him a hundred dollar bill.

"Of course not. Aisle 7 for the other stuff" he said skipping over the words birth control. Man, he couldn't even say it.

"Hey, Cullen can I ask you something?" Mike asked.

"Sure" I said not knowing where this was going to go.

"Bella, go stand over there while the men are talking," I joked. She scowled at me.

Bella walked over to stand on the shelf. She was pouting, wanting to hurry up and get out of here. She was probably thinking of what would happen if anyone saw her stain.

"I just wanted to know if you and Bella are well, together?" he asked. This gave me my inspiration. Both Rose and Edward would kill me if they ever found out. And I knew they would find out. Ah well, I was more afraid of Rose. I mean all Edward could do was kill me but Rose could refuse to give me some.

"Yeah," I said deciding to risk this. I mean it would so be worth it.

" I thought you were with Rose, and Bella was with Edward?"

"We were but then we started swinging and liked it too much to go back" I said.

"Well I can't say that I'm surprised" Mike sighed. He might not have been surprised but I sure as hell was.

"What do you mean you're not surprised?" I asked.

"Well you two are together and joke around so much, that you must be together." he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well, we did spend a lot of time together at school. Just joking and hanging out. Ugh, of course the Forks kids would get some kind of affair from it. Hmm, why didn't Edward tell us? He probably didn't want to think about my sexy body on Bella. Prude.

"Oh yeah you guys figured it out." I said turning to go get Bella.

"Oh and Emmett, The birth control isn't for Edward and Bella is it?" he asked.

"No, it's for Bella and her new man," I said leaving him to puzzle it out.

"Come on Bella-Babe" I said loud enough for Mike to hear.

"Okay Emmie, bear," I knew Mike heard that because I heard him laugh. In two hours the whole school would know. We walked off to find aisle six and the tampons.

"So what did Mike want?" she asked.

"Oh, he just wanted to know if we were cheating on our significant others," I told her hoping she wouldn't want to know what I had said.

"Did he actually say significant others?" Bella giggled.

"No, he just said Rose and Edward." I told her. "Why?"

"Well it didn't sound like him. In fact it sounds more like Edward." she said.

"What? It sounded old fashioned and lame?" I asked innocently. I didn't fool her.

"Shut up Emmett," she said jabbing me in the stomach. That's another bruise that I'll be blamed for. Ah, poor me.

"So what did you tell Mike?" she asked. Damn, the one question that I didn't want her to ask she asks. Oh well, she wants to know.

"Well you're not going to like it," I said trying to buy some time. "I didn't want her to go all hormonal on me right now.

"I don't care if I'll like it just tell me." she said obviously losing patience. Not that she had that much before.

"I _might_ have told him that we were swinging and decided we liked things better this way." I admitted.

I expected her to yell at me or at least say ew that would never happen. But no she just started laughing. I love Bella but she was strange, I mean she always said the unexpected. Whenever you think you've got her figured out she throws you a curve ball, but I guess that's why she and Edward belong together.

"You _might_ have told him that we swing," she said in between giggles. I couldn't help it her laugh was infectious. The next thing I knew I was laughing, and Bella was bright red. Crap, I forgot she needs to breathe.

"Breathe, Bella," I told her. She took a breath.

"Stop, Emmett!" she said throwing her arm out in front of me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because that's aisle six, which is where the tampons are." she explained slowly. Sheesh, mood swing much. Gosh, maybe we should pick up some midol while we're here.

We walked in the aisle marked feminine hygiene. This aisle looked vaguely familiar.

"Hey Emmie, does this aisle look familiar?" Bella asked me.

"Yeah, it does why?" I asked. I really had no idea why it looked familiar. I had never been in the tampon aisle before.

"This is the same aisle we had our show down with Jillian," she said. Well I stand corrected. I had been in this aisle before.

"Wait, so we just walked around this store for..." I glanced at my watch. "An hour and we were here from the very start?"

"Yep," Bella said popping the 'p'.

"That sucks," I said.

"Doesn't it just?" she asked with a smile.

"Well hurry up, and pick your kind" I told her.

She walked up and down the row scanning the labels. After, about ten minutes she walked up to me and said, " They don't have them."

"Well just get another kind," I told her.

"No. I need that kind. I can't just change," she screeched at me. When she talked like that she sounded a lot like Rose. I wonder could those two be related.

"Fine, I'll just go ask a sales rep. You stay here," I ordered.

"Okay, hurry back." she commanded.

I walked out of the aisle and found another rep. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. Apparently, it was harder than I had meant for it to be because, he screamed out.

And lucky me. I had to get the second biggest male gossip in the whole school. Tyler Crowley. Ah, well might as well give him something good to take home.

"Hey Crowley, I need some special tampons. Do you have them?" I asked handing him the sheet of paper Bella had written the name of it on.

"I can go check," he told me. As soon as he entered the back store room I heard him burst out laughing. Why can't a guy just come in a store and buy some tampons? Oh yeah, now I remember.

After Tyler's laughing fit, he came back out with a small white box. Ugh, why are the women on the box always playing sports in a white outfit?

"Hey, Cullen is it that time of the month already?" he asked me in a seemingly sympathetic way. Poser.

"Ooh, yeah." I said sounding shy like Bella. "You wouldn't believe how I'm feeling." I told him

"Oh, do tell Emettilda," he said changing my name to make it more feminine.

"Well, look how bloated I am. I look like a house." I told him lifting my shirt to show him my perfect 24-pack.

"Aww, poor baby" he cooed. Ewww, he just cooed to me. This guy is so fruity.

"Yeah and that's just the half of it." I said. "My hormones are jumping and they're making me have mood swings." I said teasing him.

"Oh well that's gonna be alright." he said trying to leave.

"Oh and don't get me started on the cramps..." I trailed off.

"Um, yeah well I gotta go do something that's not this..." he said turning to run away. Wuss.

Damn the idiot forgot to give me the tampons. Ten seconds later he walked back up to me looking sheepish.

"Here, you go," he said. I left him there trying to apologize for his behavior.

I speed walked a little faster than a human would be able to, but luckily no one saw it. In five more seconds I was in the aisle with a seriously pissed off Bella.

"Where the hell were you?" she asked angrily.

"I had to find an associate, and then it turned out being Tyler Crowley and you know I just had to mess with him." I explained. "I'm sorry," I said with the puppy dog eyes that she can't resist.

"Ugh, fine you're forgiven," she gave in. What can I say I just have that effect on people. They always give me what I want.

"Come on, we'd better go pay for this," he said.

"Fine" she said getting up to stand with her butt on my crotch again. Too bad Eddie never got to enjoy this. Poor repressed little guy.

"Oh, and you might want to take these, Bella," I said trying to hand her the tampon box. She wouldn't take it.

"Gosh, Emmett just be a man and carry it." She yelled. I wonder if she's always at Edward's throat like this when she has her period. Of course Edward wouldn't say anything against her. In his eyes she was perfect.

In the Forks market there are only two registers. One was manned by Mike and the other by Tyler. I decided we should go screw with Mike. I wrapped my arms around my waist so that it looked like we could be humping. Ha, I didn't have to be Jasper to feel the lust and jealousy radiating off of Mike.

"Hey Mikey," I said.

"Emmie-bear, Bella" he said emphasizing The bear part.

"Mike," she purred while lifting her hand to stroke my face. Damn, she was good at flirting. I wonder does she do this to Edward. If she did this was probably as far as they went.

"I heard you two were together?" he asked hoping that I was lying and Bella would run to him. Wow, he must be delusional.

"Yeah, Emmie keeps me happy don't you baby?" She asked with a seductive coo. She was laying it on pretty thick. Ah, well anything to get Mike.

"You know it" I said cockily.

"Will that be all?" Mike asked to change the subject.

"Yeah, I think so, unless you have extra extra large condoms?" I asked. Bella's eyes widened. She realized that this was going way too far.

"Ummm, here you go," he exclaimed practically throwing them at me. Ha.

"Thanks," I said.

"That'll be $9.85" he said.

"Here," I said handing him a twenty. "Keep the change"

"Thanks!" he squealed like a girl. "Oh and Emmett weren't you supposed to pick up some birth control?" he asked.

Damn, I knew that I had forgotten something. Oh, well it was too late now. That's when I saw her. Our buddy Jillian was still here.

"Bella look over there. There's your friend." I pointed to Jillian. Bella growled. Wait, Bella growled. She was spending way too much time with us. Seriously she was made to be a vamp.

"Who?" Mike asked. "The one in the pink track suit?" Wow, Mike what a brilliant deduction. I mean, she's the only one standing there.

"Yeah," Bella said. "Hey can you file assault charges here at the store?" she asked with a malicious glint in her eyes. Whatever she had planned it didn't bode well for Jillian.

"Yeah, but Why?" Mike asked hesitantly.

"That woman over there she sexually harassed Emmie in aisle 6." she said sounding like she was about to cry. And Edward said she wasn't a good actress. She had this wimp going.

"Um sure just fill this paper out." he said sounding slightly dazzled. I guess he likes that damsel in distress routine.

"Sure, thanks Mike. You have _no _idea how happy this makes me," she said in her seductive tones.

Ten minutes later we had filled out the papers and were back in Edward's Volvo. Bella was laughing at how fun our day was. Man Edward, had better start doing fun things with her or she might get someone else to do it for her.

We drove home and the first thing Bella did was grab her tampons and run into the bathroom to apply one. I walked up the stairs and stood right outside the door. I wanted to scare her again.

I noticed that she had left the box on the floor outside of the bathroom. I decided to do a little something to freak her out.

Bella POV

After inserting the tampon, I stood in the bathroom thinking over the events of my day. It had been hilarious. I just hope Edward and Rose don't find out about half of the stuff we did. Of course, Edward will all he'll have to do is read Mike's mind. Stupid small town.

I took a few extra minutes to wash my face. Emmett must be bored stiff. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Boo!" A booming voice said right beside me. I know I jumped a foot into the air. Major deja vu.

I started to yell at Emmett but that's when I got a good look at him. I couldn't help but laugh.

He had taken my tampons and strung some of them into a headband on his head. He had a few made into a belt. How he got them around his waist was only my guess. Then he had like five in his pants if you know what I mean. It looked like Rose had gotten him excited.

Then he had two in his curly hair like they were ribbons. There was one in each ear like some sick earring. The last two were in his nose. Ew, note to self don't use those. As soon as my slow human brain put this image together I was doubled over clutching my stomach, because I was laughing way too hard.

"Grr, don't laugh at the mighty tampon warrior." Emmett growled out.

"Or what?" I managed to gasp out in between outbursts of laughter.

"You don't want to find out," he growled menacingly. Was he trying to make me scared of him?

"Oh please Emmie, I'm more afraid of a teddy bear than I am of you." I smirked.

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said bravely.

He didn't even answer. He just ran at me so fast that he was a blur. He threw me over his shoulder, and ran me down the stairs and out of the door, that I didn't see him open. He ran around the forest and dropped me on my butt in a meadow that was beautiful, but no where near as perfect as Edward's meadow.

"Are you afraid now?" He asked growling at me.

"Oh yes, you are such a big scary brute," I said acting afraid. A two year old wouldn't have been fooled. "Em, what are you supposed to be?"

"I am not Em, I am the gruesome period monster." he growled. " I torture guys, with mood swings and I torture girls with hormones, cramps, and bloating."

I couldn't help it I laughed again. Then Emmett settled down so we were laying on the ground. I was propped on his hard stomach. To some passerby we probably looked like some insane escaped psycho couple.

"You know you're insane, right Emmie?" I asked him.

"Not as crazy as your boyfriend," he replied.

"How's he crazy?" I wanted to know.

"Well, seriously the guy hears voices" Emmett said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"It's not his fault," I said slapping him. Great another bruise to add to the bunch. If I didn't get away from Emmett I was going to be black and blue.

"Of course not insanity's no ones fault." he said taking on the term of a therapist. I just grunted a response.

"Please look at Rose, she has to take care of a child," I joked.

"A sexy ripped child," he clarified. I rolled my eyes. Rose and Emmett had more in common than I thought. They were both vain, cocky, full of themselves, and both were sex addicts.

"Besides this sexy ripped child gets a lot more than you ever will." he said with a grin. Needless to say I was ten different shades of red.

We laid in the meadow for a while talking and joking on each others soul mates. Of course, most of Emmie's jokes were about Edward and my sex life or rather lack of.

We probably would have continued in this way for a while longer but then my humanity had to ruin it. My stomach growled loudly enough for my sensitive ears to hear. Emmett lurched up launching me off of his chest.

"Damn," he said "Edward warned me you had to eat. Sorry I guess I forgot."

"It's fine Emmett, I just realized I was hungry." I soothed him. Note to self make sure Edward doesn't get on his case. It was an honest mistake.

"Climb aboard," he said with his goofy grin while pulling me on his back.

We were back at home too soon. I was going to go cook something, but Emmett volunteered to cook.

"Let me do it Bella," he whined in my ear.

"Can you even cook?" I asked skeptically.

"Edward's not the only one who can do stuff," he mumbled hurt. Damn it, everyone always makes me feel so bad.

"Fine if it makes you feel any better, you can cook." I said defeated.

"Thanks, Belly-Bell-bells" he said lifting me into a bone breaking hug.

"Can't...... breathe," I gasped out.

"Oh, sorry" he said dropping me on my butt. That was the second time today, I hope it doesn't become a habit.

"Ow" I shouted behind him as he took off running to the kitchen.

I decided to just sit on the couch and wait for him to finish. I laid down, took out the remote and started flipping through the channels. I finally stopped on a movie, High school musical. I really hate this movie, but I can't tear my eyes from it.

Thirty minutes into the movie Emmett came in with my food. He had fried chicken, cooked some macaroni and cheese, some type of vegetables, and he had a large cup of coke in his left hand.

I must say it was delicious. I thought it would make me sick or something.

"Mmm, Emmie this is delicious," I said.

"See, I told you I could cook." he bragged. "Oh and when you're done there's dessert."

That's when he noticed the movie that was on.

"Ahh," he squealed like a girl. "I love high school musical." I wouldn't tell anybody.

"Why?" I asked. "This movie sucks. Zac Effron is gay. The singing is lame at best. And it just isn't very good." I said bluntly.

"Lies, all lies" he said.

"Whatever." I said dropping it. "I'm ready for dessert, now."

"Ok," he said running off into the kitchen.

He came back a few seconds later with a piece of chocolate cake and a plate of chocolate ice cream.

I put a bite of the cake in my mouth. It was so moist it practically melted in my mouth.

"Emmett you really out did yourself," I said with a smile.

"Oh it was nothing Bella," he said with that mischievous grin of his. Oh, well maybe he's just happy.

We sat on the couch and just watched movies. Emmett kept smiling at weird times. He had to have done something. I just don't know what yet.

I guess I fell asleep on the couch. I tried to tell what had woke me up. Ugh, it was my stomach and the fact that I needed to change my tampon. I got up to change it, but my stomach felt like it was going to run from my body.

Emmett's cooking must have gave me diahreah Ugh, I spent the rest of the night on the toilet. Early in the morning when I finally was sure I was done.

Standing outside was Emmett himself. I was too tired to even tell him off about his cooking. I tried to walk around him but he just blocked me. That's when I noticed the box he was holding out in front to him. It said Choco-Ex-Lax on the front. That's it I'm going to kill him. I'm going to tear him apart and burn the pieces, no I'll get Edward to do it.

Emmett's pov:

Bella thinks high school musical sucks, well I'll show her. I decided to add a little surprise to her cake. I pulled out my old friend. Mr. Choco-Ex-Lax. And it found it's way onto her cake.

"Emmett you really out did yourself," she said with a smile.

"Oh it was nothing Bella," I said with smiling back. I watched her eat it with rapped attention making sure she swallowed each and every bite.

We sat back and watched some movies. I thought she would have figured out something was up, I mean I started smiling in anticipation during a murder mystery where most of the people die.

She fell asleep on my chest. I thought about carrying her up to bed but I was just too lazy. About an hour later, she got up and went to the bathroom. I stood listening outside the door. She was going all night.

Hours, later she finally emerged, mumbling something about matches. She tried to walk around me but, I blocked her. At first, she didn't notice the box that I was holding. When she saw it her eyes widened.

I thought she would try to attack me or something but no she just went to Edward's room and went to sleep. Maybe it was the hormones. Well only 4 more days to go.

Day 2:

Bella wasn't too angry today. She said she understood, but I still think it was just the hormones. Oh well I'll take it as long as I don't get in trouble.

We didn't do much. Today, we just watched old movies. She wouldn't let me cook anymore. I know Edward's going to get me when he gets back, but I couldn't let her talk about HMS.

Day 3:

Today was horrible. Bella was really pissy.

She was bloated and kept asking me did she look fat. When I said yeah, she hit me causing herself to bruise. When, I said no she said that I was a huge liar. Then she would burst out crying. Ugh, how did Edward take it every month? Well only two more days.

Oh, and not to mention the cramping. She was mumbling about pain all day. I had to go out and get her some midol. When I got back she was angry and then she was crying. I'm so glad Rose doesn't have a period.

I was so relieved when she finally went to sleep. She snored all night and I just sat enjoying the first peace I had, had all day long.

I wish Rose was here she would know how to handle Bella. Of course, Bella would probably be so scared she wouldn't make a sound. Gosh, I miss Rose tight now. I wish she were here. If she was we could have fun on Edward's piano. Maybe when she gets back. Ugh, I'm so glad Edward doesn't know about this, if he did he would kill me.

Day 4:

Bella was much more like herself today, and the bloody smell was gone. I guess that means it's almost over. Oh happy day.

Today we just talked and joked. It was normal. And the best part? There was no crying.

Day 5:

Bella ran into me this morning. Hah, I bet she's black and blue all over.

You might ask why I'm so joyful all of a sudden. It's because this morning Bella gave me the best news ever.

"IT's over Emmie" she squealed jumping up and down. It took me a second to get what she was talking about. Then I got it.

"Yay," I squealed jumping up and down with her. This was the best news that I gotten in five days.

"Oh and guess what?" she asked.

"What?" I asked back with a grin.

"Today Edward and Rose come back," she said still jumping up and down. Uh-oh.

"Crap" I said. I immediately stopped jumping up and down.

"What?" she asked still jumping. This girl was like the energizer bunny, she kept going and going. No wait, that was Rose. She kept going and going and going all night long.

"Do you remember any of the things we have done in the last five days?" I asked.

She blushed a very interesting red. "Oh," she gasped. "Well they won't know about it until Monday"

"Well..." I trailed off not wanting to be the bearer of bad news.

"Well what?" she asked suspiciously with narrowed eyes.

"Well Edward can sort of hear all of the thoughts in the Forks area," I tumbled the words out.

"Ugh," she groaned putting her head in her hands.

"Relax, I can run us to Canada if you want," I offered.

"No thanks, Emmett but it was a sweet offer." she said smiling at me.

"Okay," I shrugged. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Well how about we just chill and watch more of your movies?" she asked.

"Sure," I agreed. This was all we had done for the past four days. "What do you want to watch?"

"Wuthering Heights," she chirped up immediately. Great we have to watch another classic. Ugh, if I could sleep then I would fall asleep on that boring movie. I don't even remember buying it.

"Do we have to Belly-Bell Bells?" I asked using her nickname hoping it would soften her up. It didn't work.

"Yes we do," she answered going to pop the DVD in.

"Geez, Bella way to be mean." I commented. "Are you sure the hormones are gone?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Emmie" she teased. "Now shut up so I can concentrate on the movie."

"Concentrate? You've seen this movie like a thousand times," I said.

"Two thousand seven hundred and sixty-two," she said without looking away from the screen. Wow, obsessive much. Who actually keeps count of how many times they watched a movie?

I didn't really watch the movie. Bella sat staring with rapt attention at the screen. That's when I heard it. It was the distinct sound of 6 pairs of feet running faster than any human can. That meant one thing. My family was coming home.

I didn't try to tell Bella. She was too engrossed in the movie.

About ten seconds later there was a knock on the door. Of course, it was the family. Bella looked up alarmed. She was in her own little world.

The door opened and Carlisle walked in followed by Esme, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and last but not least my Rose. She looked stunning in a tight red babydoll dress with white leggings and red stilettos. I wanted to take her right then.

I wasn't expecting everyone to go straight upstairs. Everyone except Rose and Edward. Bella finally managed to tear her eyes away from the tv. Now she was feasting on Edward. I don't know which one was worse.

Then I looked at Rose. Rose stuck out her hand and beckoned for me. My pants got tighter at the sight. She looked so good in that itsy bitsy dress. I got up and walked to her like a zombie.

Edward ran up to Bella and picked her up. The next thing I knew they were making out pretty heavily on the couch. Please, is that the best they can do?

Edward pulled away from Bella long enough to shoot daggers at me. Like I care. Then, I turned back to my Rose without thorns.

She was getting impatient. I sped up my walking speed. In less then a second I was at her side and everything felt as if it were right in the world.

"Damn, Rosie Posie, I missed you." I said wrapping my arms around her perfect waist.

"I missed you too Emmie-Bear," She said. Wait, what did she just call me?

"I believe she just called you Emmie-bear," Edward threw in from his place on the couch.

Crap, that's what I thought she said. No one called me that except Bella. That meant she probably knew everything that went on this week.

"Belly-Bell-Bells, I love you" he said twirling a strand of her long brown hair. Uh-oh, this would not end well. "Almost as much as I love my Rosie-Rose,"

Bella looked sick. I guess she recognized her nick-name too. Or maybe it was Edward saying he loved Rose.

"I love you too Emmie-Bear, almost as much as I love my Eddie-Weddie."

"Yes, I think swinging was the best idea we ever had," Edward commented.

"Oh and Emmie, how's Jillian?" Rose asked.

"Great, I guess," I said abashed.

"Yeah, cause you know Rose's middle name is Lillian." Edward interjected.

"Look guys can we stop the pretense?" Bella asked. Bless her.

"What pretense?" Edward asked looking innocent. Innocent my butt.

"You know about what happened Monday after you left." I said.

"Yes, we do" Rose admitted.

"Well let us have it." Bella said sighing in anticipation.

"Have what Bella, love?" Edward asked like he really didn't know.

"Don't you know all of what happened?" Bella asked.

"I think so, is there anything you would like to add?" Rose asked.

"Well Emmett and I had a full on make-out session in front of an old lady, then we walked around with his crotch on my butt to hide a stain. Oh, and then Emmett told Mike we were dating and Mike told everyone. Oh, and last but not least, Emmett ran into Tyler and acted like _he_ had his period." she said in one breath.

"Okay," Rose and Edward said together. If Bella kept her mouth shut then we just might get away with this. I can only hope. But of course Bella's stupid conscience wouldn't just let her let it go.

"But did you not hear me?" she asked like she was talking to mental people, and hey maybe she was. How else can you explain how cool they were taking this. Usually Rose would have threatened to tear me apart and burn the pieces if I didn't grovel. Maybe, I should start now. "Did you not hear that I just made out with your brother and your husband?" she asked.

"Yes, we heard you," Rose said.

"Wait you did?" I couldn't help but ask. Maybe I am dumb.

"Yes, we did." Edward repeated.

I was confused. Of course, that was nothing new in this family. "Can I have a private conversation with Bella?" I asked.

"Sure," they both said. This was seriously bothering me.

"C'mon, Bella" I said escorting her upstairs. Well I was going to take her upstairs until I heard some very disturbing sounds coming from Alice's room and from Carlisle's room. Ew, I guess they hadn't got any in a while either. Needless to say I turned right around and instead I went outside.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I don't know," she replied, "Edward would probably forgive me but Rose...." she trailed off. She was right, Rose would hold her personally responsible, and I wouldn't be getting any for a while. I think I got the worst end of the deal.

"I'll be lucky if she forgives me," I assured her.

"Well let's go face the music. After all it is our fault." she said taking responsibility for our actions like always.

I put her on my back and I ran her back to the house. Rose and Edward had moved.

Rose was snuggled up to Edward on the couch reading a fashion magazine. Edward had his arm snaked around his waist. They looked like some happy couple. I was seeing red. It took all of my strength not to go over there and rip his arms off.

Bella looked like she had been punched in the stomach by a newborn. She was so hurt, but that didn't stop her anger.

"What the hell is going on in here?" we both shouted my eyes full of fury, and Bella's full of tears.

Then they were laughing. Not just regular haha! That's so funny, but this was gut-wrenching, stomach hurting laughter. Rose was leaning on Edward for support. Edward was slapping his leg and holding his sides with one hand, the other he still had around Rose.

"Excuse me?" Bella asked with clear anger and pain in her voice. "What is so funny?"

"Bella," Edward gasped out in between his laughter. "We know what you did we were there." What?

"What?!?!" We asked. By this point they had managed to settle down a little.

"Well, we couldn't trust you with Bella," Edward said honestly.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Hmm, I maybe because you'd do something stupid like give her Ex-Lax." My Rose said in her sarcastic tone. As much as I hate to admit it they were right to keep an eye on her.

"Too true," Bella threw in. Traitor.

"So we stayed around and hunted locally," Edward began. "Then when we heard that Bella had her period we knew you would have to go to the store,"

"So we followed you around." Rose took up. "When Bella dared you to go hit on Jillian we almost died laughing. Then when she started raping you it was hilarious. Of course, you do know that only I can touch you there," she said touching me and making my pants become tighter. Edward grimaced and looked away.

"Then you went to get Bella. Let's just say Jillian had some R-rated thoughts and she was getting her way with you one way or another. Oh and Bella she wasn't against you joining in until you started growling." He said. "Oh and let me be the first to say that the growling was super sexy."

"Thanks" Bella replied blushing.

"But wait we kissed twice?" I asked.

"Puh-lease Emmett if that first one can even be called a kiss. I must say I was disappointed in your kissing." Rose said.

"Well what about the second one?" Bella asked in a whisper.

"Us," Rose said smugly.

"Come again?" I asked when I didn't understand.

"We had Jasper crank up the lust," Edward clarified. No wonder I was feeling so... hot in my nether regions.

"Then you gave Bella laxatives," Rose giggled. Bella growled, and Edward's turned on.

"Yeah, and she spent the whole night on the toilet," I said with pride as Bella and Eddie shot me death glares.

"So let me get this straight," I said to clarify. "You're not mad at us,"

"No," Edward said.

"Not at all," my Rose said with a shrug.

Edward came and pulled Bella up into an embrace. He was about to take her to his room, but being the good brother I am I gave him the advice to stay away. Needless to say he did.

I walked over to Rose. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I put mine around her waist. She smiled up into my eyes. This was heaven, this was perfection.

"So you were thinking about me the whole time we were 'gone'?" she asked.

"I'm always thinking about you." I told her. "When you're here and when you're not."

"Aww, I love you Emmie-bear," she squealed. I guess she had adopted that name. Oh well, I liked the way it sounded when it flowed from her lips.

"And I love you too, Rosie-Posie." I whispered in her ears.

"Do you want to go play some reindeer games?" she purred.

"Yes, I do" I said waggling my eyebrows in the sexy way she loves.

"Fine, but we're not going upstairs!" she called out.

"First one to the meadow, gets to pick the game," I called out as I sprinted for the meadow.

All's well that ends well.

_A/n: well guys here it is. I hope you liked it. And yes, I know it took forever to update. But, I've been busy. I had church stuff, then my birthday was Sunday (the 28__th__), then Monday was the beginning of band camp, so I won't be able to update for a while. Oh and the next time I update it'll be on my other story The Cullens go to therapy. Read and review._

_Review's=Happy Camper. Happy Camper=I write faster. I write faster=You guys get your updates quicker, then you review because you're so happy! It's a cycle. Keep it going!_


	6. School and Jessica

**Chapter 6**

**School and Jessica**

**Dedication:**

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to bellapouts, for the idea for this chapter. You rock! Thanks a lot!**

**Bella POV:**

Ugh, I woke up in a terrible mood this morning. It felt like an angry swarm of bees was buzzing in my head, and that just made me want to hit someone. Which is strange, since I am by large a pacifist. I made myself get out of the bed. I hopped into the shower and let the hot water try to get the kinks out. This morning it didn't help.

I went into my room and pulled on a red sweater and a pair of light wash jeans. I looked pretty good, so I was pretty happy. I walked downstairs and was surprised to see Charlie sitting at the table.

"Good Mornin," dad smiled. Ugh, the one morning that I'm not in the mood, my dad is at home.

"What's so good about it?" I grumble.

"Bells are you okay? You seem mad."

"Fine dad." I said grabbing a chocolate chip granola bar. Mmmm, the chocolate tasted heavenly. Just as I shoved the last of the food into my mouth a horn outside honked. I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door.

"Bye Bells," Charlie waved. I just ignored him.

I was surprised to see Alice in the back seat. She usually rode with Rose or Jasper. She was probably mad at them for not letting her play barbie or something.

"Ugh, Bella you look horrible. You should have let me plan your outfit." Alice said. I could feel the tears welling up into my eyes. I don't know what was wrong with me. I knew she wasn't being mean. It was just how she showed that she cared.

"Why, you don't like the way I look?" I asked. "Am I ugly?" At this point the tears won the battle and flowed down my cheeks.

Edward glanced back and forth at Alice and then to me. He looked confused. I guess he decided I was a danger to his driving, because he pulled over to the side of the road. He reached out and patted my back.

"Shhh, Bella, you are beautiful. You know Alice didn't mean it. Sometimes she just speaks without thinking." he assured me. I knew all of this, but I just couldn't stop crying.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Alice said looking as if she would cry too, if she could. "How about I promise to let you wear whatever you want for the next two weeks?" I must admit that was an amazing deal. Now, if I could just stop crying.

"O..ok Alice." I sniffled.

A few seconds later we were cruising down the highway. When I say cruising, I mean Edward's type of cruising. The type that has me clutching the seats in fear.

"Edward, slow this damn car down right now." I demanded, angry now.

"Love, we're not going that fast, besides we are going to be late if we don't hurry." he said gently.

"Fine, Edward do what you want," I huffed turning away from him. I was so angry, for no real reason. "It's not like you care if I live or die,"

"Of course I do, Love" Edward said trying to soothe me. "I love you."

"Of course you do." I mimicked. Edward slowed the car down to almost normal speed limit. A few minutes later we were at school.

As soon as I got out of the car, Emmett ran up to us. "What took you guys so long?" He asked.

"Nothing" I said smiling cheerfully.

I started off toward the school. Edward caught up to me quickly. "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"No never better."

The day passed on, but it seem highlighted by the frequent freak-outs I seem to be having. In English, we were just sitting there, discussing classic literature and I felt really attracted to Edward. More so than usual. He didn't even look at me. I felt the overwhelming wash of shame at rejection wash over me.

Why would he want me? It's not like I deserve him. I'm not pretty enough. A tear slid down my cheek and he caught it on his finger. He passed me a note.

(_italics-Bella_ **Bold- Edward**)

** What's wrong?**

_ Nothing._

**Are you sure?**

_No._

Edward looked at me worriedly. I have no idea what's wrong with me today, but I hope I find out soon. Soon, enough English was over. Edward kept trying to talk to me but I wasn't in the mood. The day passed in a draggy chasm of misery. I was pretty grumpy and sarcastic all day. I snapped most of my friends heads off.

The worst part was that Edward walked behind me most of the day. Like I was some smelly animal and he was walking downwind. Finally, it was lunch.

"Sit down Bella, let me get both of our trays." Edward smiled. I must admit I was pretty tired at this point.

"Sure Edward," I agreed.

Edward walked off, just as Alice, Jasper, and Rose came to the table. They all had trays with barely any food on them. Edward came back with a tray loaded with food for the both of us. The others picked at their food, since they couldn't eat it. But I dug in with gusto. I had no idea how fast I was eating until I glanced up and saw the looks on the faces of my family. Their looks ranged from disgusted to fascinated.

After that I tried to slow down with the eating. It didn't really work. I was pretty hungry.

"Wow Bella. You're really hungry huh?" Alice asked trying not to step on my proverbial toes.

"Yeah, I guess so." I smiled.

"Oooh, Bella, girl you know that 's going straight to your hips?" Emmett said in a faked girls voice. "You know you don't need the extra calories."

"W-w-what do you think I'm fat?" I asked feeling the tears pool up into my eyes.

"No way." said Emmett taken back by my tears. "You are way skinny."

"Thanks I try. You know pilates and stuff..."

"Well, it's working girl. Keep it up." I couldn't help but smile at Emmett. He was right it was working. From now on I'm going to excercise twice as much.

Just as I was about to lose myself in my thoughts I saw Jasper's lips move. I guess the words were too fast for my slow human brain to compute.

"What?" I asked Edward.

"Hmmm?" he responded.

"What were you and Jasper talking about?" I asked warily.

"Oh, you saw that, did you?" he responded.

"Yes Edward, I am not too stupid to see your lips move." I yelled loudly and angrily. "Now what did you ask him?" I guess some small part of my brain realized that most of the cafeteria was looking at us. I was just too mad to care.

"Calm down love." he said soothing. I could feel a wave of calm wash over me. Jasper. "Umm... Jasper had this idea."

"What idea?" I asked glaring at both of the guilty parties in turn.

"Well, Jazz thinks he might know what's wrong with you..." he began.

"What's wrong with me?" I demanded.

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but just as he was going to say something, the principle stepped up. "Any one who doesn't have next period gym need to come with me." he announced.

I internally groaned as Edward and the others stood up. They followed the principle leaving me all alone. I sat and played with the food as I waited for the bell to ring.

When it finally did, I got up with the rest of my friends and walked slowly to gym. By the time I got there the rest of the class was on the field and I had the locker room to myself. I went over to my locker and opened it up. Then I stripped off my shirt and switched it with our plain, blue gym t-shirts.

I continued stripping my pants off. I began to fold them as usual, but then some flash of red caught my eye. I completely unfolded them, and was automatically embarrassed by what I saw. There was a huge, red, circular stain across the butt of my jeans.

I felt a red blush heat my face. I checked my underwear and saw that they were also red. Great, that explains my insane mood swings. And Edward had been about to tell me.

I was already late, so I didn't have time to think about that. I went into the joined bathroom and put on a pad. One problem down, a million more to go.

I went back to my locker trying to decide what to do about my sweater and pants. The sweater had a bit of blood on the back, but I could just wear the gym shirt home.

Now, I just had to do something about the jeans. They were too stained hide the mark. I could wear them, but the t-shirt wouldn't cover my butt and anyone could see it and laugh. Then, I was struck by the best idea of what to do.

I grabbed the jeans and folded them so that the stain was on the inside. As far as I know there is only one person who is the same jeans size as me that I really know. I went to Jessica Stanley's locker and put in the combination that she had gave me. Luckily, she had given almost everyone her combination so it wouldn't be obvious that it was me.

Anyway, I took her folded jeans and replaced them with mine. She would get a nasty surprise but it was better than the alternative. I shut the door and snapped the lock as I pulled on my shorts and ran out of the door. Of course, I tripped on my way out of the door and hit my head on the wall.

"Ooof," I muttered.

"Need some help, Bella?" Mike Newton asked from where he was standing above me.

"Yeah, I just fell."

"Not really that rare is it?" he asked trying to go for a jaunty 'cool' guy look as he extended his hand.

"Not as rare as I like," I replied as I took his hand and stood up.

"We're lucky today. We just have to practice the basketball passes."

"Oh really?" I asked still wincing. No, it wasn't as bad as running, but I still usually hurt people (or myself) when passing a basketball.

"Yeah, I'll partner with you if you need one," he volunteered.

"Thanks," I smiled. I'm so surprised that he still volunteers to partner with me even though he knows that I love Edward and won't leave him.

"No problem. Let's go before Coach Clapp blows a gasket." And he led me by the hand to the gym floor.

He took his place across from me and passed me the ball. The first time, it hit me in the chest. I nearly fell to the ground, but managed to stay up by sheer force of will. I blanched as I realized that I was going to have to throw it back.

I pulled the ball to my chest and turned my thumbs inward like the coach had told us. Then I pushed it out and let it go. Mike caught it too easily. We continued the different passes. He ended up knocking me down about six times, and I ended up hitting him in the face a good time. Thankfully, he was a good sport and never seemed to get angry about it.

As we played, I kept darting glances at Jessica. I knew what I was going to do was wrong and mean and just plain horrible. But it was either her or me and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that if she was in the same situation then she would do it without hesitation.

After a while of worrying, the final bell rung and we trooped off to the locker room.

Mike stood outside the boy's locker room and I stood outside of the girl's. "Well, that was fun," he smiled. I looked at him skeptically. Sure he never complained, but he couldn't be serious. Maybe that knock to the head caused a concussion.

"Um… yeah," I mumbled unsure of how to answer.

"We should do it again sometime," he added.

"Definitely," I smiled though it was more like a grimace.

"C'mon Mikey, Bella'll be here when you get back," Tyler smirked as he pulled Mike into the locker room.

"See ya later," he called.

"Bye." I threw a smile over my shoulder and turned to go into the girl's locker room.

I walked into the room and the girls all said 'hi' to me. I greeted them and casually made my way to my locker. I quickly opened it, removed my shorts, took out my jeans, and slid them on.

I didn't leave right after I was dressed. I stood around and looked for Jessica. It wasn't hard to see her. In most high school locker rooms there are three types of people. There are the types who run in and change as quickly as possible. There are the types who hang around to change after class when everyone is gone or in the bathroom. Then there are the types of girls who stand around in their underwear and bra. Jessica was that type of girl.

At the moment she was standing and talking to Lauren. I rolled my eyes as she continued talking. I decided that I didn't really want to watch the sparks fly. I grabbed my purse and shut my locker door. Then, I walked out of the locker room into the gym. The gym was just how I like it. Empty. I could hear the sound of my feet on the wooden court as I made my way to the exit.

The door opened and before I knew it Edward was pulling me into his arms. He pulled me close and laid a kiss on my forehead and then on my lips. When his lips met mine, I got a little too carried away. My lips grasped his and began to move frantically. Edward reciprocated for a minute. But of course, he quickly regained control and overruled what he wanted. "Bella," he murmered.

"Sorry," I said though I wasn't sorry at all. "Hormones."

"Speaking of hormones... Jasper and I realized what was wrong with you, but weren't able to tell you."

"Yes," I grimaced. "I figured it out in gym."

"Oh? Did you handle the situation well?" he asked skirting around talking about the 'issue' where prying ears could hear.

"Um, yes I did. We can talk about it as we walk away from here as quickly as possble."

"And why would we do that ?" he asked and a high-pitched scream ripped from the girl's locker room.

"That's why," I murmered.

He raised his eyebrows and started to lead me to the car. "So, I suppose your day was eventful?" he smirked.

I couldn't help but giggle as I thought of all the things that had happened today. So, it was probably the hormones that was making me so... giddy, but at the moment I didn't really care. "To say the least."

Edward, gently took my hand and led me to the door. Just as we were about to exit, we heard that same voice from the locker room.

"No, I swear it's not mine. These aren't even my jeans!" Jessica squealed. "This so wasn't me!" Edward and I both giggled as we exited the gym and went to the car where Alice was already waiting. I climbed into the front seat and smiled at the thought of how the next five or so days were going to be for Jessica. Haha, and they say that cheaters never win.

**A/n:**

**Woo-hoo! I know I haven't update this one in a while, but I'm going to try to get better about it. Regardless another Chapter is finished. **

**Oh, and from now on I will update **_**Holly's Diary **_**and then do another one that I don't usually uypdate. That way I can finally finish these. Anyway,I hope to update this story soon. Keep reading and I'll keep writing. Oh and remember to review. Flames are welcome. They're what keep me warm and toasty at night. ;) **

**By the way, I know this chapter wasn't that good since I haven't wrote **_**Twilight **_**fanfiction in forever, but hopefully it'll be better next time. Oh, and this story will only have like two more chapters and an epilouge.**

_**Remember: Reviews = happy camper. Happy camper = quicker updates. Quicker updates = you reading more. It's a cycle. Keep it going!**_

__**Yours truly, madly, and deeply,**

**Einstinette**


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